the cold one

the words just ripple ripple off of my lips
across my tongue to you
strange and alien
it's not me that says such things
such insecurities
it's my fears speaking for me
i squished them down to keep them silent
presure building in the emptiness beside my heart
and then they were freed
a revolution, coup d'etat
and i am no longer the loving me i once was

i am cold, always cold.
the bitter taste of cynicism in my mouth
does it even matter this other me says
it's futile to try, to want, to love
so why try or want or love anything.
come be numb and you will feel no more pain
you will feel no more fear no more sadness;
you will feel... nothing

and the me who is truely me is silent
it listens and sleeps
overcome by the effort needed to
keep the cold one, newly freed, at bay
it waits to be reborn...
while the other acts