the cold onethe words just ripple ripple off of my lipsacross my tongue to youstrange and alienit's not me that says such thingssuch insecuritiesit's my fears speaking for mei squished them down to keep them silentpresure building in the emptiness beside my heartand then they were freeda revolution, coup d'etatand i am no longer the loving me i once wasi am cold, always cold.the bitter taste of cynicism in my mouthdoes it even matter this other me saysit's futile to try, to want, to loveso why try or want or love anything.come be numb and you will feel no more painyou will feel no more fear no more sadness;you will feel... nothingand the me who is truely me is silentit listens and sleepsovercome by the effort needed tokeep the cold one, newly freed, at bayit waits to be reborn...while the other acts
lonelyI am lonelyfinding solace in the musicmy body swaysgently rocking in time to the beat eyes closed lips just waiting for a chance to smilei let it wash over me in wavesseep into my ever flowing thoughtsuntil it courses through my bloodmy voice adding a bittersweet melodyI am lonely,I say this to the musicso wholly alive as i am it offerssolidarity in it's gentle notes each tone a memory from a different day
planswhen i'm olderi will cut my outrageously long hairand dye it purplei will laugh with a sparkleand speak to men in riddlesdancing just out of their reachwhen i am olderi will make fantasies realand convince others of the absurdityof daily lifeargue with little children about string theory(how best to play cat's cradle)and send old businessmen into cornerseven now i make my little foraysrunning down up escalatorsturning cartwheels in the librarythough i should be quiet in studyreserved, responsible, caged
candle lightquietly watch the candles burndown to their wicks and waxen poolstoo hot to touchstinging heat spreads from fingertipscaped with liquid whiteencasing, transformed to hard cold shellsdrop from skinoutside smooth as glass, faultless.inside holds the imprint of a lifeas the flame struggles, flickers, dies.
Not going to hold my breathI don't know how much this will take from mei don't know how much hold you haveI spend all my times reasoningso it doesn't feel so badthere were gifts only you could give methere were times only we could sharebut if i spent all my time remenisingit would only bring me closer to nowherechorus:Subconscious consciously playing with my mindoh boy was loving you such a crime?lucid dreamingcellos screamingyour crooked smile's in my headyet i can't bring myself to care.you won't get any morethan the three tears I've shed.Chorus:Subconscious consciously playing with my mindoh boy was loving you such a crime?lucid dreamingcellos screamingyour crooked smile's in my headbut i can't bring my self to carei swear, you won't get any more from methan the three tears I've shed